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25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party

October 25, 2017 By Golf Pro Leave a Comment

1. Make sure you’re ready to exchange business cards. Judge and be judged.

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via giphy.com

Always have something to say about current events.

2. Like interest rates! “We haven’t been in a raising rate environment for years, what will this do to bond issuance and deal flow?”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via gph.is

3. “Can you believe Congress got so close to defaulting on the debt? It’s like these House Republicans don’t know who funds their campaigns!”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Legendary Pictures / Via giphy.com

4. “My portfolio takes a hit and they couldn’t even reduce spending?”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via gph.is

5. “If only there was a businessman in the White House, we wouldn’t have all these problems.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via gph.is

6. “But it’s even worse overseas. Try doing a deal in Russia? Doesn’t work unless you know Putin.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via gph.is

7. “It’s not too great here though. I mean, capital gains taxes, they’re 20%!”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Fox News Channel / Via gph.is

8. “Yeah, but at least it’s not France.”

"Yeah, but at least it's not France."



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Via borntojourney.tumblr.com

9. (New York only) “I’ll miss him, he actually understands how important businesspeople are to the economy.”

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Via gph.is

But current events are a huge bummer, so maybe talk about something everyone in business does way too much: travel.

10. “When’s the last time you went to Japan? Long flight, great restaurants. Culture is definitely a bit different.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via giphy.com

11. “The only time I meet new people is in business class.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via gph.is

And your commute.

12. “I spend more time waiting for the Metro North than I do with kids.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via giphy.com

13. “The only thing worse than flying commercial is my buddy’s tiny plane.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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AMC / Via gph.is

14. “Ugh, and the walk from Grand Central to the office. In the winter it’s like circumnavigating Antarctica.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via giphy.com

If none of this works, focus on recreational activities.

15. “I got a new golf pro and my swing is a-may-zing.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Gary Sanchez Productions / Via gph.is

16. “But it’s hard to find any young people to play with.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Golf Digest / Via golfdigest.com

17. “Don’t even ask me about my serve.”

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Via youtube.com

18. Sure enough, someone will pitch you on a “great investment idea.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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19. “We would be fantastic partners.”

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Sony Pictures Television / Via giphy.com

20. “It’s a can’t miss opportunity, the returns will be amazing!”

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20th Century Fox / Via giphy.com

21. It might be a great idea!

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22. (It probably isn’t a great idea.)

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Via tumblr.com

23. “No, thank you.”

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via giphy.com

24. And if all else fails, just memorize Andrew Sorkin’s column and quote portions of it in response to every question.

And if all else fails, just memorize Andrew Sorkin's column and quote portions of it in response to every question.



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Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

25. But more than anything, have a good time!

25 Steps To Faking Your Way Through A Business Party



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Via giphy.com

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